I gazed in horror as black smoke billowed over the skyline of NYC… “the World Trade Center tower has been hit!” …Right on television another big plane slammed into the other massive tower, spraying debris over the slumbering city below. My young mind just couldn’t understand… why would someone do that? Then, about 60 miles from my house, about an hour after the violent and deliberate terrorist attack, the towers collapsed, killing 2,763 of my neighbors.
Childhood
My name is Mark, and I was born in Toms River, NJ. I grew up in a very conservative professing Christian home and had much exposure to the Bible and church-going. I grew up reading about Jim Elliot, the missionary who was martyred in South America, and also listened to Christian music CDs that my sister had. Being a Navy SEAL was a personal dream of mine for my whole life: I had heard it was the toughest and most difficult military training in the world, and I was also strongly drawn by patriotism after seeing 9/11 on my television as a young child.
I felt a calling to defend my country and to be directly involved in hunting down and eliminating those who would seek to hurt my fellow countrymen. I participated in swimming, wrestling, and Judo for physical conditioning, and then enlisted in the Navy right after I graduated high school with a Navy SEAL contract promise. I was totally fearless (at least that’s how I felt) and gave it my all.
I felt a calling to defend my country and to be directly involved in hunting down and eliminating those who would seek to hurt my fellow countrymen. I participated in swimming, wrestling, and Judo for physical conditioning, and then enlisted in the Navy right after I graduated high school with a Navy SEAL contract promise. I was totally fearless (at least that’s how I felt) and gave it my all.
“And the way of peace have they not known: There is no fear of God before their eyes.” – Romans 3:15-18
Going to the Navy, Boot Camp, Pre-BUD/S
I went through basic training in Illinois and then did a program called Pre-BUD/S, in which they seek to prepare you physically to endure BUD/S (Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL training). One of my classmates committed suicide and that troubled me in ways I couldn’t explain. I completed Pre-BUD/S and was moved to Coronado, California to begin BUD/S with class 276.
BUD/S was every bit as hard as I had heard, and many people were “ringing the bell” to quit. Two-mile swims, four-mile runs, six miles to the “Chow Hall” every day was rigorous enough, but there was much more difficulty being covered with sand and being wet, tired, and very cold almost the entire time. It was a very exciting adventure to me, but over time I began to feel my heart darkening. I couldn’t explain it at the time, but it’s as if my conscience was being seared and I was going into a darker place. I felt I was drifting further and further away from God, and when I would pray, there would be no answer.
BUD/S was every bit as hard as I had heard, and many people were “ringing the bell” to quit. Two-mile swims, four-mile runs, six miles to the “Chow Hall” every day was rigorous enough, but there was much more difficulty being covered with sand and being wet, tired, and very cold almost the entire time. It was a very exciting adventure to me, but over time I began to feel my heart darkening. I couldn’t explain it at the time, but it’s as if my conscience was being seared and I was going into a darker place. I felt I was drifting further and further away from God, and when I would pray, there would be no answer.
“Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.” - Romans 1:21
SEAL Qualification Training- SQT
I graduated BUD/S and began SEAL Qualification Training, where I learned numerous war-fighting skills such as tactical shooting, driving, medical, diving, winter warfare, desert warfare, alpine climbing, and free-fall parachuting. One day when I was skydiving, I had a dangerous accident where I almost died… I was shaken up by this and was surprised that I didn’t feel ready to die. I was very troubled about this, as I would confidently boast to all my friends and teammates that I was a Christian and that I knew I was going to heaven when I died - I even longed to die heroically in some gun battle with terrorists or in some other fantasy of courage! But death had stared me in the face and my nerves had failed; my confidences had deserted me… I felt terrified deep inside.
Something needed to change. I needed to find out what was wrong. So, naturally, I began reading my Bible, giving money to the poor, and going to Church religiously. However, I didn’t even know what it meant to be “born again” (John 3:3). Therefore, to say the least, a significant blindness was still upon me. That’s not to say that I didn’t feel helped going to Church. I even saw answers to prayers and had several emotional experiences while listening to Christian Music. However, it was all merely an outward change that didn’t yield lasting fruit.
Something needed to change. I needed to find out what was wrong. So, naturally, I began reading my Bible, giving money to the poor, and going to Church religiously. However, I didn’t even know what it meant to be “born again” (John 3:3). Therefore, to say the least, a significant blindness was still upon me. That’s not to say that I didn’t feel helped going to Church. I even saw answers to prayers and had several emotional experiences while listening to Christian Music. However, it was all merely an outward change that didn’t yield lasting fruit.
“Wherefore the Lord said, Forasmuch as this people draw near me with their mouth, and with their lips do honour me, but have removed their heart far from me, and their fear toward me is taught by the precept of men:” - Isaiah 29:13
Medical Training 18-Delta
After graduating SQT and becoming a SEAL, I learned there is a top military medical school called 18-Delta for Trauma Surgery and learning, essentially, how to be a doctor or surgeon in an extremely austere combat environment. One of my mentors had counseled me about getting medical training, so I was selected to go and I moved to Fort Bragg, North Carolina to attend 18-D and get advanced medical training.
This was my first time being in the “Bible Belt” and I began to really identify as a Christian. However, I began to notice many people who would attend Church and seem really godly, but when they would be around my friends, they would become very different and would even curse and drink! I was very troubled by this. I began to get very disillusioned about “Bible-Belt Christianity”. I even began to question if the Bible was for today anymore because Modern Christianity didn’t look anything like Biblical Christianity, like in the Book of Acts. Maybe you’ve thought the same things. Where is God today? Is the Bible a History Book or is it truly for today? Where is the Lord?
This was my first time being in the “Bible Belt” and I began to really identify as a Christian. However, I began to notice many people who would attend Church and seem really godly, but when they would be around my friends, they would become very different and would even curse and drink! I was very troubled by this. I began to get very disillusioned about “Bible-Belt Christianity”. I even began to question if the Bible was for today anymore because Modern Christianity didn’t look anything like Biblical Christianity, like in the Book of Acts. Maybe you’ve thought the same things. Where is God today? Is the Bible a History Book or is it truly for today? Where is the Lord?
“The priests said not, Where is the LORD? and they that handle the law knew me not: the pastors also transgressed against me, and the prophets prophesied by Baal, and walked after things that do not profit.” - Jeremiah 2:8
The Truth at Any Cost
At a Bible Study in North Carolina, which I attended once, they asked us to memorize a Scripture. I decided to memorize Psalm 19:14, “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.” When I got home that night, I was suddenly gripped by a holy fear: What if I live my whole life being a “good person”, giving money to the poor, serving my country… and in the end I stand before Jesus Christ and he says, “Depart from me, Mark, I never knew you!”, like what is written in Matthew 7:23. I dropped to my knees and prayed that God would show me true salvation at any cost. I really meant it! But I didn’t know that God was going to answer my prayer by targeting my self-righteousness!
Salvation!
| Over the next seven days, my life was totally turned upside down. God caused all the sin and wickedness of my heart to come pouring out. Anger, greed, lust, hatred, blasphemy… God graciously began to show me several things that are vital to understand true Christianity: He showed me how I was a slave to sin. “Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin.” - John 8:34 He showed me that I loved sin. “Though wickedness be sweet in his mouth, though he hide it under his tongue; Though he spare it, and forsake it not; but keep it still within his mouth: Yet his meat in his bowels is turned, it is the gall of asps within him.” – Job 20:12-14 He showed me that I totally disagreed with God’s Word. “And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.” - John 1:5 |  |
By the end of the week, I knew my reputation as a “Christian” was a lie. I bitterly lamented, “Why didn’t God just make me a good person?” Have you ever felt this way?
“They are all gone aside, they are all together become filthy: there is none that doeth good, no, not one.” – Psalm 14:3
I was very angry at God. Much cursing and bitterness was in my heart. I had personal accusations against the King of Heaven! Then I realized… not only do I love sin, but I hate God! Suddenly, I knew I was going to hell and my spirit was broken. There was nothing I could do in the flesh. I saw that I was an enemy of God--one who is worthy of rejection and damnation.
“And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved.” – John 3:19-20
“Whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.” - James 4:4
“Whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.” - James 4:4
I couldn’t even lift my eyes to Heaven for shame! Then, in this low estate, lying in the dust, without any hope of being saved, I saw that Jesus died for ME on the Cross of Calvary!
“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” - Romans 5:8
I saw that Jesus LOVED me! Amazing grace! How sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me! I once was LOST, but now I’m found - was BLIND, but now I see! This truth liberated me in a moment, and truly all things became new! I believed for the first time in the atoning work of Jesus Christ!
“And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” - John 8:32
All those whom I had formerly hated, I now loved! I no longer wanted to kill the enemies of my nation, but rather preach to them! I saw that even most Americans were lost and on their way to hell. Before I used to carry guns and was obsessed and paranoid about my personal security, and now I was free from that heavy yoke and was safely in the hands of Almighty God. I saw how vain it was to try to save my own life!
"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." - 2 Cor. 5:17
I no longer felt “elite” or that I was better than anyone else, but rather I felt deceived and tricked that I had gone through such pains to prove myself, and to join a violent cause against my fellow man. I also began to see much ungodliness and corruption in the American Government. All of this made me recoil that I had ever been involved in such a greedy and bloody system. A short while later, on a deployment to Africa, I saw that being in the Military was completely incompatible with being a Christian. Why? The military apparatus is an arm of the Government that blindly enforces destructive policies that perpetuate unjust war. The consequences are untold! Famine, disease, death, destruction, societal collapse, economic imbalance, anarchy, and chaos. To put it simply: the national interest of America does not equate to loving your neighbor as Jesus Christ commanded.
| Resigning from “the Teams” The way the LORD confronted me about all of this deserves some attention! Military personnel worldwide need to reckon with the consequences of their actions. Upon returning from a mission in Africa, to our base, I came to realize that I had a cut on my finger (literally, there was blood on my hand). When I opened my Bible in my room, my hand happened to smear blood on the page. I was startled by this! Out of 31,102 verses in the Bible, the following one was marked with my blood: |  |
“So ye shall not pollute the land wherein ye are: for blood it defileth the land: and the land cannot be cleansed of the blood that is shed therein, but by the blood of him that shed it.” – Numbers 35:33
GOD IS SPEAKING. I was shocked! I trembled to see that blood cries out to God from the earth, and that it could only be satisfied with the blood of those who shed it. This is divine justice. I knew that I could no longer continue in my career as a Navy SEAL, and only by the grace of God I had not shed blood in this way yet. “For the Son of man is not come to destroy men's lives, but to save them…” (Luke 9:56). I got on my knees and prayed to the Lord for strength to go through with what he was showing me. Then, with the joy of the LORD in my heart I resigned and forsook my Military career and turned in my “Trident”. “So likewise, whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:33). In the end, I was honorably discharged from the military.
| Recent Times From this point onward, through the Spirit of God, the LORD has graciously caused me to increase in the knowledge of the Word of God. This is a miracle of grace that should not be taken for granted. Heresy creeps on every street corner in these dark times. “The Bible will keep you from sin, or sin will keep you from the Bible.” (D.L. Moody). Then, to my surprise, the LORD led me to a virtuous woman (as a needle in a haystack!). My beloved wife, Kaylyn. I’ve worked for a tree service in NJ for a time, and now I work at a Sawmill in TX. God has been faithful! At last, after much searching, I found a biblical church in East Texas. |  |
I’m happy to share this short testimony with you and would love to speak to you about Christ and biblical salvation. My friend, there’s coming a day (perhaps in the near future!) when all the mighty men of this world will weep and howl as they seek to hide themselves from the angry gaze of Jesus Christ who sits upon the Throne!
“And the kings of the earth, and the great men, and the rich men, and the chief captains, and the mighty men, and every bondman, and every free man, hid themselves in the dens and in the rocks of the mountains; And said to the mountains and rocks, Fall on us, and hide us from the face of him that sitteth on the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb: For the great day of his wrath is come; and who shall be able to stand?” – Revelation 6:15-17
When God judges America for her sins as a nation, the Navy SEALs won’t be able to save us. The amassed military might of America will not be able to withstand the decree of Heaven when God causes America to fall. Abortion has killed more souls than all the wars of history combined! Filthy lewdness is commonly viewed on television and computer screens worldwide! Homosexuality is being publicly justified! Bloodsports like the UFC have become socially accepted forms of entertainment! This country spends over $50 billion a year on Hollywood – making-up stories to entertain extravagant Americans, while in other nations, people work 10 to 12+ hour days to make a few bucks! Worst of all, Churches flood this nation with a “Gospel” that leaves men and women dead in their sins, when Christ has died to set men free from sin! Oh, my friends! America has blood on her hands. We must REPENT and seek the Lord! May God have mercy!
To God be the Glory for saving me, a wretched Navy SEAL! As a beggar lifted-up from a dunghill, I am truly unworthy. What about you? Do you have a biblical testimony of salvation? Remember, you too must be born again (John 3:3). Please examine yourself, and remember that one day you will judged by God according to the standard of Holy Scripture contained in the Bible. Sooner or later it will come: “In the day when God shall judge the secrets of men by Jesus Christ according to my gospel.” (Romans 2:16).
To God be the Glory for saving me, a wretched Navy SEAL! As a beggar lifted-up from a dunghill, I am truly unworthy. What about you? Do you have a biblical testimony of salvation? Remember, you too must be born again (John 3:3). Please examine yourself, and remember that one day you will judged by God according to the standard of Holy Scripture contained in the Bible. Sooner or later it will come: “In the day when God shall judge the secrets of men by Jesus Christ according to my gospel.” (Romans 2:16).
In Christ,
Mark de Rouville
Mark de Rouville
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